Thursday, August 2, 2012

me

I have gotten up for the day every morning this week before 4:00am.  I am suffering from self centered anxiety about the workshop on Saturday.  I believe I have simply lost my perspective on the importance of  a 1-1/2 hour presentation.  Can you imagine if I was a heart surgeon?  I would surely develop a God complex.

My fears:
  • Everyone in the room will have more sober/clean time than me and will be thinking, "I know more than her, what can she say that I have not heard before?"
  • That my presentation will be over in 20 minutes and then I won't know what to do.
  • That my pants will fall off.
  • That I will hear mummers later in the day about how awful it was.
  • That since the workshop is on humility, God will use it to humble me in some awful way that brings pain and embarrassment but teaches me what God wants me to learn.
  • That several people will walk out during the middle.
  • That no one will come.
  • That too many will come.
Sigh.  I'm a mess over this.

14 comments:

luluberoo said...

This is funny (in a way) because I know you have done this before. I guess it never gets any easier.

My money is on Pammie. Your experience/insight/directness is going to WOW them. Wish I could be there, I would hear something I needed for sure.

Marcia said...

The difference between me and you is that you're going to do it anyway.

Mary Christine said...

I predict: something will happen that you cannot predict or prepare for.

You will be fine. I never heard of anyone going to a workshop to criticize the workshop.

Mary LA said...

Pammie, your workshop is going to go so well. But I have the same dread, not just about workshops but any kind of public speaking. I'm always convinced that I will get some kind of comeuppance.

Sending you love and a little peace of mind.

Lynda Halliger Otvos (Lynda M O) said...

I suspect you will do fine and be pleasantly surprised at the warm and welcoming reception your talk will generate. Looking forward to the report.

StaZ said...

Who wouldn't be thrilled to hear you talk about anything for an hour and a half?? Either sober people are super-critical (which I doubt) or you're being over anxious (which I'm pretty sure of). Trust yourself. So many others do. : )

Tracie said...

You are a rock star.(And really funny, pants falling off ha-ha:))

Anonymous said...

Wish I could be there in the front row. Thinking people may walk out is a very realistic expectation though, ninety minutes is a long time for anyone to sit and listen, let alone an alcoholic or addict! Cinch those big girl panties up tight before you take to the podium, Pammie!

Annette said...

Oh pammie, they will love you! We all do!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

LOL All fears I'm very familiar with. :)

Love you!

Anonymous said...

Now see, what I was thinking is that if all else fails, you can wow them with your fabulous hair. And I'm serious about that.

Whatever you do, wear comfortable shoes.

dAAve said...

que sera sera

Doris was so smart.

Kary May said...

But really don't you want a heart surgeon that thinks he is God or damn close. It reminds me of that old joke, do you know the difference between a neurosurgeon and God? ....God knows he's not a neurosurgeon. And from someone that works around people that have God complexes all day long (surgeons) let me tell you, you excel in being exceptionally human and that's who people want to hear, someone just like them that made it. You're going to knock'em dead.

Syd said...

I've been to many workshops, both recovery and scientific, and came away from all learning something. So it will be with yours. People will come because they want to be there and because they want something from it. They will find what they are looking for, rest assured.