Saturday, December 22, 2012

Saturday Morn

What an odd month I've had.  The exhaustion seems to be gone, until it's not.

My sober daughter has been so ill and I have been wrapped up in her care with both my time and finances.  My oldest daughter is expecting her first child in March. My son is mostly clean and still holding the job he got last October.

I have put on 27 lbs. I just can't stand it although I continue to eat.  Three months without smoking but obsessing daily about it.

My blogger friends have been on my mind, in my heart and always in my prayers.  I have so much to say but I just cannot write my feelings down for some reason.  Everything I feel seems so private and not just private from this public forum but private also from my friends and family. I've never been able to overcome the belief of being "noble" when we bare everything in silence.  Opening this blog brings on discomfort because of the restraints I've placed on myself about what I can and cannot talk about, the rules I've established for the right and wrong way to feel.  sigh.

I am wishing everyone a warm, safe and joy filled season.




11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Pam! I have not been in the mood to bare my soul out here lately either, but hold you and others in my heart this holiday and always.

Syd said...

Thinking of you, Pammie. I hope that the New Year will be good for you. And, of course, I'm wishing you a great Christmas. Keep in touch.

Unknown said...

wishing you all the best...and..have you looked into medical cannabis..it seems like it's good for lots of ailments these days...and...no ill side effects..

any way...take care of you..everyday is a gift...u r loved..always..

Fill your mind w/ helpful thoughts.
peace and love.
j.

Annette said...

Pammie, I am SO happy you posted. I think of you all the time and yes will admit, I have even worried about you! lol

I have made the decision to take my blog, at least my blog as we have all known it for the past 5 years...down. January 1 is my target date. For many of the reasons you write here and also, that I feel its time I move on from this always being my focus. Anyway, if your interested my last couple posts have been talking all of this through...I will still be around commenting though! I hope all settles down with your daughter. I am happy that you are on the mend and getting your strength and health back. Whew! That was a huge event. You are loved here in this bloggerland that we all have created. <3

Mary LA said...

Pam it is so good to hear from you -- I struggle with restraints too, but even a snippet of news from you makes my day.

Kiss to Theo, hug for yourself and especially sober daughter.

dAAve said...

Thanks for checkin' in.
I'm ready for some chicken jokes.

Hope said...

Oh, me too. A chicken joke was the first post I read of yours Pammie.
It's just good to hear from you. I hope sober daughter's health improves.

Mary Christine said...

I agree with the need for a Chicken Post.

Merry Christmas my Pammie. I miss you lots.

SoberMomWrites said...

Merry Christmas Pammie. Follow your heart, it will tell you what to do.

Sherry

Lou said...

Holding you in my thoughts, and your beautiful family as well.

XOXO Lou

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