Monday, December 31, 2012

I just feel fragile

It amazes me that we can all live with ourselves 24 hours a day and still feel perplexed at our own decision making skills.  I live in the Land of Self Amazement.  It is a territory riddled with the mentally ill, self obsessed, and no-to-low self esteemed humans.  I am the Queen of this land and rule from a prone position while napping as an escape.  OK...enough play-like.  Now days they say "let's pretend" but we always said "let's play like."

2012 was the year of oxygen machines, blood pressure cuffs, dental appointments, smoking cessation and extreme weight gain.  Ahhh good times.

I'm not good at new years resolutions, but I do love a clean calendar and notebook.  I like running my hands over a fresh clean page, smelling the paper, notebooks in all shades of blue and purple.  I have never once bought a yellow notebook......uggggg.

My heart is mushy these days.  Too many worries and fears, surrendered and then grabbed back and clutched with iron fingers.  It seems my adult children cannot even get a paper cut without me falling to the floor with chest pains and rocketing blood pressure.  I think God is going to do a lot of work on me in 2013.  I hope he gives me anesthesia or at least some pain killers along the way.  I just feel fragile.

Loving you all and wishing you a Happy New Year.

8 comments:

Syd said...

Thinking of you, precious Pammy. I think that God will hold you and take away the pain in your heart and body.

Anonymous said...

You have been in my thoughts and prayers, Pammie. Happy 2013 to you.

Kary May said...

I hope he gives you a remission, a reprieve. Oh hell, if we're making wishes, let's make them spectacular. I hope He gives you a year of immense healing and peace, and, on top of that, I hope He gives the same thing to the whole world.

May this year bring you and yours peace and wellness, Pammie.

Love,
Kary

Mary LA said...

Pam, you are in my prayers and I am hoping for a peaceful and healthy year ahead.

Take care of yourself my dear one.

Anonymous said...

Its been a rough one for you , Pammie, and I'm praying that you get cut some slack in 2013. You are loved, mi amiga.

Mary Christine said...

Pammie, it is so good to hear from you!

As everyone else said, I wish for 2013 to be kinder to you than 2012 was.

Please take care,
mary

Annette said...

***It seems my adult children cannot even get a paper cut without me falling to the floor with chest pains and rocketing blood pressure.***

Pam....I understand this. Take good care of your own sweet self today. I just got in from a 5 mile walk with a friend....my first in several weeks. I dreaded going, it was early and cold...but once I was out there, it was exactly what I needed! Find what YOU need Love. xoxoxo

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