Friday, October 5, 2012

What the hell just happened???

I was released at 8:00pm last night.  My home is a loud, big ass oxygen machine now.  There are tanks and miles of tubing through out the house.

I wanted to go upstairs first thing and get my yoga pants on but when I put my foot on the step, I could not figure out how to push my self up to the next step.  I am physically depleted.  This morning, I feel emotionally depleted as well.

I really have not processed what has just happened to my health.  I'm not even sure how to start that journey.  I have 4-6 weeks short term disability now.  This covers 90 % of my salary so that helps, but I've never missed more than 4 days of work in a row.  I think "helpless" is the scary word I'm looking for.

It seemed easier in the hospital to stay in the day, in the moment, take on "just" the next thing.  I will have to get myself back to that frame of mind to figure all this out.

I got two full hours of sleep last night....yahoo!

I am grateful for the paid time off to heal, for my neighbors who are all doing everything they can think of to help, for my husband who just knows when I've had enough and he takes over, for my Theo who could not get enough licks on my face.

23 comments:

dAAve said...

I'm glad you are back home with all that support.
Take care, stay in touch and let me know if I can be of any help.

Mary LA said...

I'm so glad you are back home -- I wish was there to be of some help.

Mary Christine said...

I am so glad you are home! And grateful for all of the support you have. Wish I could be there to make you some chicken soup - or something.

Please take care of my Pammie. xoxox

Syd said...

Pammie, I am glad that you are back home. I would be glad to help out and even drive to Texas if you need a hand. Just let me know. I really hope that things will get better for you soon. This has been very scary.

SoberMomWrites said...

Feel better Pammie. Being at home speeds the healing process. And give yourself some time to absorb the full impact of what has happened to you...it's a lot to take in!

Sherry

Annette said...

Oh thank God you are home! Just camp downstairs for a few days.....getting upstairs can be tomorrows project. I wish I was closer... as Syd said, this has been very scary!

luluberoo said...

Hugs and kisses and prayers.

LK said...

God bless you and give your body strength to heal and be well. I've heard doggie licks are healing. :)

Kary May said...

Don't push yourself, those stairs will be there later. I'm sure when this all hits you it's going to be like a ton of bricks collapsing, but you made it through, you're strong and God's got some plans for you.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I'm glad your home and hubby and theo are attending you well xoxoxo

Kristin H. said...

It is good to hear from you and I am praying for your health. It is time to focus on getting well, baby girl, and let God do His work.

Marcia said...

Glad you are back home.

Urban Derby said...

Healing prayers sent up for you.
Aaron.

Sheri said...

So glad to read that you are home. Home usually makes me feel better and recover quicker. YOu will be in my thoughts.

Kary May said...

Are you doing okay. I hope that you're feeling better and taking care of yourself, or better yet, letting others take care of you.

justine said...

I JUST found your blog and it is So so funny. I am glad you are home and I look forward to reading your blog from now on. Theo is a doll! (a big ole doll!)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Still thinking of and praying for you XOXOXOXOXO

Hope said...

I hope you are breathing easier, Pammie.

Mary Christine said...

Thinking of you, Praying for you, and Missing my Pammie!

Syd said...

Hope that you are doing okay, Pammie. Concerned about you.

Kary May said...

Has anybody heard from Pam and could let the rest of us know she is okay. Worried.

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