Monday, June 18, 2012

Monday Morning

There is something wrong with me.
I have wanted to get high (then higher) as long as I can remember.
Yesterday I watched a National Geographic special about a new drug that is sweeping Europe and it looked fantastic to me.  As they were listing all the scary facts about it, I was thinking "yeah yeah" get to what the great effects are that keep people buying it.
There is something wrong with me.
Because of my journey, I know that I will never be able to try this drug and that is sad to me.
There is something wrong with me.  I'm grateful that I have the disease of addiction.
I'm grateful that something is wrong with me.
How else would I have found the life I have now?
At the end of the show, my husband said "damn, that's some bad shit."
I looked at him like he was crazy and said "oh honey, there's something wrong with me."
Thank you God.  I have no idea why this appalling drug looks good to me but it is who and what I am.
So I will stay on this road, hopefully until I die of natural causes because my brain has something wrong with it.
Be gentle with the world today.  We never know whats' wrong with people.

6 comments:

dAAve said...

I'm grateful that neither you nor I have to use whatever the "drug de jour" is. Let's just watch from the sideline.

Anonymous said...

It still disturbs me to this day that I get a little rush of anticipation when I hear I might have to have surgery (C-Section, tubes tied, etc..) I can't help but think, "I get a hall pass on my addiction for just a few hours!"

What kind of f**ked up shit is that? I know full well where that kind of thinking will take me. Just another reminder that there is something off with my brain.

Anonymous said...

I've never done drugs but I like to be messed up on booze. It's the reason I stopped. Hugs to you.

Mary Christine said...

I am grateful that God has granted you 21 miraculous years of freedom from acting on "what's wrong with you."

Syd said...

And I would think that what's wrong with me is that I didn't want to lose brain cells when everyone else was getting drunk and stoned. I have a few brain cells that I still treasure and they will have to hold me for a few more years. LOL.

Sarah said...

Kristin. Pamie: I hear you! How sick our minds can still be. Wow don't know what to say...Kristin you spoke what I have never uttered to anyone. I should then others might not feel alone....thanks girls