Oh lordy I have to return to work today. I feel like a third grader wanting to hold the thermometer under warm water and complain of a strange stomach ache. I have no idea where this aversion to work has come from. I have a feeling that once I sit down at my familiar desk, it will all go away. I'm thinking that I need to get a friend to call my cell phone around 9:30am with a fake emergency call, just in case I absolutely must get up and run away. Jeez, my job has become a blind date.
I may need to go into extreme simplicity mode, which is one foot in front of the other. I am simply afraid of everything. I remember about a year ago being on the 2nd step of a small step ladder I have had for years and for the first time, I knew better than to "jump" down. I had always jumped down, but I knew instinctively that the landing was going to be too jarring or just plain dangerous. I'm having that kind of feeling......it's just to jarring to jump into life and I don't wanna! Dammit.