Monday, March 12, 2012

Callin in afraid





I don't want to step outside my house so I called in "afraid" to work.  "I'm afraid I won't be in today."  I may call in blind tomorrow.  "I can't see myself coming in to work."

I've been sort of playing the "everything will be fine" game but everything is not so fine.  "This too shall pass" was said to me many many times from Mama, long before the "program" started telling me the same thing.  I know it's true, but like a kidney stone, the passing is slow, drawn out and oh so painful at times.

There is a thread sticking out of the "fabric of my life" and I am guarding it like a bull dog, lest someone tries to pull at it.

Ominous.  Sorry.

I've been enjoying every one's Q&A.  I am working through some "damn feelings" and I just don't feel like myself this weekend.  I believe it will all be fine in the end because it always is.  Always.

13 comments:

Mary LA said...

Pam take care -- your are in my thoughts, whatever the trouble is.

Christina said...

Everything will be okay in the end, and if it's not, it's not the end.

Either God is....or he isn't. We get to choose. Hang in there, sister!!

xoxo

Kary May said...

Hang in there, Chica, all things will be revealed. I'm counting on it.

Lou said...

I don't know what I could do, probably nothing, but I'm here.

dAAve said...

I think you'll be OK because you are sober, in recovery and have a fantastic program.

I'm reminded of this ......

Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it isn't the end.

Annette said...

((hug)) me some Pammie. Nothing short of dying is the end of the world...even though it may feel like it. I hope it all works out Love, just the way its supposed to.

Patty said...

Have a great mental health day.

Barbara said...

I hope the day off offers you some peace. You are such a good writer, I enjoy your words no matter what you write about, but I sure hope you feel better soon.

Syd said...

Take care Pammie. Your mother did not tell untruths. Believe her words and the bad stuff will pass. We all need a day to chill sometimes.

Tabitha said...

I'm out of your loop Pam
but sending you the love
n stuff.xo !

April said...

Prayers and thoughts your way! I hope your situation whatever it may be evens out for you soon.

Marcia said...

It will all be fine in the end, always. Take Pammie

Mary Christine said...

Dear Pammie, I am praying for you, and will continue to do so.
xoxoxoxoxoxo, Mary