My sweet blogger friend Marcia left this perfect comment yesterday.
"sometimes, when normies jump off the train, other normies will run up to them and say, "why didn't you DO something?" not realizing that jumping was the last and most difficult thing TO do."
Ain't it the truth?
I lead a big ass newcomer meeting last night and then sought out a couple of young people Andrews age, Kevens age....oh about the median age of a lot of your kids out there, and told them to give their Mama a break. One young man said he didn't have a Mama that she died when he was eleven years old. I told him he had probably sucked that free pass dry and that I knew there was some woman out there crying about his selfish ass. He said "yeah, my Aunt Linda." OK then, give Aunt Linda a break. They all know my story and we are peers so we can speak to each other this way. An addict will listen to another addict. This is part of the magic of our beautiful program. I also gave them each a bag of candy because they sit on the front row and a lot of their peers in this particular indigent type re-hab make fun of people who sit on the front row so I try to make it worth their while. Once I offered ciggaretts to front row sitters but a near riot broke out so I've changed to candy. These are street addicts and you just have to meet them where they are in life. When I go to high dollar re-habs a speak a whole lot different to the new comer.
Oh people...I've really been spouting off for the last few days. We are all the same in so many ways aren't we? Trying to figure out a way to have some happiness in each of our days, trying to keep our families together, fed, nourished and happy. I am so grateful to be free from the burden of active addiction. There are times when I'm just so weary of it all. I get so tired of new twitching, angry, beat down drug addicts and their families. Then I get a good nights sleep and see all the pain and God gently reminds me that once upon a time strangers in a fellowship that I knew nothing about, reached out to me and showed me the steps that lead me face to face with a mighty God who replaced the fear and pain with joy and purpose. So I grab little sacks of candy and get in my car and ask God to give me something to say that will reach one person so that I can lay my head down at the end of it all and hope that I've pleased God.
12 comments:
I am glad that you have those sacks of candy. I am glad that you reach out to the sick and suffering. I know God is pleased. All of us want love. It is a common denominator that unites us. Without love, we are nothing. You are sharing love, Pam.
The twitching, angry, beat down addicts are needy. They need extra attention, extra love, extra acceptance. It can get intense. Syd said something to the effect a person needs to have a big emotional bank to work with/help them. Your time and sharing makes a difference. It is fulfilling and real when you know God is using you as a light in a chaotic darkness.
I'm really happy, with more goodness in my life than I ever imagined. That doesn't make for an interesting blog, but I guess I could try it.
marcia is so right. someone at my fam anon meeting shared last night that dr. phil did a special on drug addiciton and families and at the end of the show he looked straight into the camera and said...whatever you do, do not give up on your addict. the guilt that parents csrry around b/c they raised a drug addict is about at overwhelming as it gets. the guilt we feel when we finally lay down the sword and let go is great too. and then this big dumb-ass doctor tells us all not to give up. omg, i could scream.
I am glad I live in the same world with you Pammie. You make it a better place.
Thank you Pam for being there for, for putting yourself out there, for listening, and for sharing candy. What a gift you give to those who are struggling.
I'm thankful to be off the train. But now that the holidays are upon us, i can see me trotting down the track after the train with a ticket in my hand.
Whew!
Ghurl, you tire me out. In a good way.
You know what? I think you are awesome. I love how real you are and how you speak your mind and I love that you are so giving with other suffering addicts/alcoholics. We all needed that at some point. Hell I still need it sometimes. God is speaking through you to those newcomers. The recovery world is lucky to have people like you in it.
Yep, here we are. One recovery at a time, making the world a better place for one miserable person at a time. I love the candy idea.
So true Pam -- an addict will listen to another addict, an alcoholic often can only really hear another alcoholic. What binds us together in the fellowship.
I love your honesty. You have taught me so much in the few days alone. Thank You.
Amen Pammie! You have certaintly enlightened me, keep on sharing.
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