I want to try to continue my thoughts on all this stuffolla schmolla but it's so jumbled for some reason. Sometimes when I read blogs from the other half or normies or what ever you want to call them folks, I start feeling so defensive. I know this emotion is not rational and I know it's not me against you, us against them, but it does feel like that sometimes. It's especially strange for me because I am also the mother of an addict so I have been and remain in both fields of play.
One of the feelings that I used to have in my addiction so overwhelmingly was "if you don't want to ride this train with me then get the fuck off." If I have made you worry and fret and ruined your life and finances then get the fuck off my train because I'm gonna ride it to the end. If you don't want to be a part of my train wreck then walk the fuck away. But don't fuckin blame me for your misery when I am spelling it out to you as clearly as possible what I am gonna do! Does this make sense to you normal people? I felt that if you are going to sit behind me on the train and continue to tell me that I am killing myself that maybe you need to wake up and see that at least I have the insight to ride the damn train in a state of numbness, you on the other hand are riding the same ass train.......stone cold sober. And I think ye an idiot.
So much of what I'm reading is reminding me of those feelings I had. They are uncomfortable but not painful. Oh and I don't think any of you are idiots.