November starts the holiday months and makes me feel like I'm in a garlic press. This year will be much easier since we will not be heading north for Christmas but staying home instead. I see the two sentences I've just written but it's not what's on my mind at all, it's just words to fill the blog page. I'm gripped in fear about my daughter, a strangle hold actually. What's next? You know that feeling? It's the one where you can't relax about the disaster that just passed because you realize the naivety of thinking it's all good now. I just want to take a huge black magic marker and write on the length of my body "I CAN NOT LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT HER" then maybe God will see it and fully understand that he needs to listen to me about this! There....I wrote down how I feel.
8 comments:
Oh, this made me cry. Still praying.
Pammie, I can only write that I know God is listening. I know the writing just to fill the page because putting down what is really wrong gives fear legs.
((((((PAMMIE)))))))
I love you, I woke up thinking and praying with you and your daughter today.
Thinking of you and your daughter Pam, all love.
I do know that feeling so well. Letting go of our kids is never easy, no matter the circumstances, trusting that God has them in his big giant gentle palms....that picture is the only thing that ever brings me comfort.
Bless you and your family.
I guess these things are the real-life tests of our recovery.
Every mother understands.
Bless her fragile little self.
I am praying too....
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