Tuesday, August 9, 2011

No Hugging at Work

After a weekend with 500 drug addicts, it was strange going back to work yesterday and not hugging everyone as we passed in the hall.

Oh it did my heart good to spend all that time with my people.  It's funny how the whole "judgement" thing drops when you're with family.  I think it's because I know a lot of "why" behind bad behavior with people in the fellowship because I know their story.  There is a lady at work who I swear dresses like a prostitute and she drives me crazy.  At the convention, a lady named Porche dressed like a street hooker the whole time but I love love love her because I know her story, I know her mother was selling her at the age of 10 to get crack and that Porche is damaged all the way down to her soul.  I love her because even though her clothes are ALWAYS inappropriate, she has been faithfully showing up every single day for 2 years, staying clean and sober, and she hauls girls in off the street all the time to show them that they can change and find God.  They never come back but Porche does.  Whenever I see her, she tells me "you need to wear pants that accentuate your ass baby girl." LOL

It seems to me that the "derelict" part of drug addiction hangs on some people like a favorite old coat and just becomes ingrained.

derelict -

  1. deserted by the owner; abandoned; forsaken
  2. ☆ neglectful of duty; remiss; negligent
  1. a property abandoned by the owner; esp., an abandoned ship on the open sea
  2. ☆ a destitute person, without a home or regular job and rejected by society
  3. land exposed by the receding of water
How absolutely true......"deserted by the owner; abandoned; forsaken" when I was using drugs I literally deserted my own self.

I am forever grateful to those who came before me and to a loving, mighty God who allows me to share the exact same message with others.


Mary Christine said...

Sometimes I try to imagine people at work as people in the fellowship - to try to love them better. Sometimes it actually works.

Lou said...

Andrew says he is so comfortable working at the coney. They are his people..that is, nobody asks too many questions about how you got there.

Anonymous said...

maybe your co-worker shares a similar history with your ex-prostitute friend. like you say...you never know what people are going through. i'll never forget that line. it floods me with compassion and i thank you for it.

Syd said...

David Foster Wallace wrote about his judging of those women in the check out lines of grocery stores who are yelling at the kids, only to consider that they may have a home life that is terrible, stressed to the max, etc.
Not knowing someone's story has made me think compassionately. And yes, I think that the dress may be the last remnant of "the life" that used to be.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I love this...I have thought the same many times and how amazing it is to be with those on that soul level get me...and the reminder to know about the otehrs life and the manner in which we live and what we know and don't know.
Thank you for the reminder.

Annette said...

I love your compassion and lack of judgements Pam. Really, they mean the world to me.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

:) GOOD WORD! :) de - to relinquere - leave

Yup that sums up the truth about my disease completely. I left the idea that I was safe long ago, I left the idea of comfort in the world for the acceptance of a chemically enhanced stupor that caused worse abandonment than I could have imagined. Black hole of abandonment of all things good in this life :)

Glad God brought us all back! And that we can see the miracles in prostitutes clothing.

It's amazing to think, but I have a hard time believing that someone in a suit could come to the street and stretch out a hand to say, come with me I know a better way. However someone in leathers and a run down work worn hand, now that person I might give some time to.

A friend once said, and I have to agree, that some of the most spiritual messages I've ever received are from someone who can say FU$# out of one side of their mouth and God out of the other side. Sometimes I just have to hear it and see it coming from a broken vessel like me to 'come to believe.'

I'm glad that I don't use the word FU#4 every other word now, and that its not necessary for me to dress provocatively to get what I need either anymore, truthfully I never really fit that mold well anyway... kinda just looked sloppy skanky truthfully.