Friday, June 3, 2011

You'd Think I Would Know Me


All three of my adult children hurt my feelings yesterday in separate phone conversations.  None of them know it.  I just assume I will never know why I can not tell any family members, including my husband that I'm hurt by their words sometimes.  It's odd right?  It is of course, a breeding ground for resentment so I have to let it go.  Maybe I just have a fear of saying something I'll regret so it's easier not to say anything.  Maybe the guilt and shame of my past makes it impossible for me to ever defend myself.  I just don't know.  Damn, I spend 24 hours a day with myself, you'd think I would know me.

I'm grateful that when my heart hurts, I can go to God for comfort.  I know I can do a 10th step.  I know a "feeling" won't last all day long and color my day with gloom.  I know my inner compass won't start spinning out of control.  I can breath and pray and live this day to the best of my ability.

Let's be gentle with others today......we never really know how they are feeling on the inside.

7 comments:

Kristin H. said...

No ma'am, we do not.

'Morning, Pam.

Anonymous said...

I will be kinder than neccesary today Pam, and you will be on my heart, Patty :)

Blogger will not let me comment through google today.

Syd said...

I get what your meaning totally. I do often speak up if I can use the THINK slogan in doing so.

Marcia said...

My sister asked me the other day about something I had said to her years ago. If I had meant it the way she took it. I don't even remember saying it but I know from the words she said that I did not mean them the way she took them. YEARS ago! I tell you what...I wish she had told me then how she'd taken them...

of course you won't carry it around for years, you will just let it go. Like you said. right?

Lou said...

Every time my kids hurt me, I remember what a bitch I was to my mother at that age.

Annette said...

I had a day like that a while back that I also blogged about. It was shocking to me that I had conflict with the 5 people that I love, am close to, and would trust with my life...the very most out of the whole world, all in one day! lol

Thank you for the reminder to be gentle with each other. I am going to a family gathering today....I need that message running through my mind. :o) I hope your hurts are healing.

Mary Christine said...

Oh Pammie, you are such a sterling example of putting the program into practice in a real way, sweet pea.