Friday, June 3, 2011
You'd Think I Would Know Me
All three of my adult children hurt my feelings yesterday in separate phone conversations. None of them know it. I just assume I will never know why I can not tell any family members, including my husband that I'm hurt by their words sometimes. It's odd right? It is of course, a breeding ground for resentment so I have to let it go. Maybe I just have a fear of saying something I'll regret so it's easier not to say anything. Maybe the guilt and shame of my past makes it impossible for me to ever defend myself. I just don't know. Damn, I spend 24 hours a day with myself, you'd think I would know me.
I'm grateful that when my heart hurts, I can go to God for comfort. I know I can do a 10th step. I know a "feeling" won't last all day long and color my day with gloom. I know my inner compass won't start spinning out of control. I can breath and pray and live this day to the best of my ability.
Let's be gentle with others today......we never really know how they are feeling on the inside.