Friday, June 14, 2013


It's Friday, but I'm not so sure if that is good or bad anymore.  I find that just as many distressing things can happen over the weekend as do during the week. If I could go to work in my house clothes (yoga pants) I would be happy to go in seven days a week most likely.

I'm growing weary of foot pain.  I'm good with pain for just so long and then I'm not.

I revealed a conversation from one daughter to the other.  I don't know what made me do it.  It wasn't a big thing but I broke a trust no matter how small and I feel the sickness inside from doing so. The self disappointment that comes with bad behavior.

There are days when I grow so bored with my own company, so tired of the same mistakes and guilt trips. 

I am going to have to stay in the day, I can see that from just these few sentences.  I know how to do that.  Practice doesn't always make perfect but it does make it familiar.

God continues to think I'm "somebody", though I am not able to live up to his expectations.  His grace follows me around like a shadow.


Mary Christine said...

Pammie - my little snow pea, Do you have anything fun on your horizon? Even a pedicure or manicure? It sounds like it is too much drudgery. Or maybe I am projecting the my tiredness onto you.

I can't imagine anyone who has ever met you not knowing you are Somebody - with a capital "S."

Grace-WorkinProgress said...

I have gone for long periods of time where nothing was really that interesting worse just painful.

I did find escape going to movies in the afternoon by myself. Sometimes I was the only one there but the loud music and the big screen made me forget for a few hours how stuck I felt in my life.

I am better now and grateful. Our mind causes us so much pain not listening to the BS it tells us can free us.

It is easier for me to wrap those thoughts around myself like a warm blanket but it is a trap that just takes me further down.

Syd said...

I feel as if I am working 7 days a week--just kidding, but with my wife away on vacation, it sure makes for a long and somewhat lonely day on the old homestead.
Maybe it's time to treat yourself to something good like a foot bath or a full body massage.

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