My sinuses are askew this morning from a late evening swim, wet hair and sleeping with a tornado fan blowing at my face. It felt good last night though.
I'm going in late to work because I have an early dentist appointment on my side of town. My dentist and I are now on a first name basis and ask about each others families. This is a big deal for me. I made the commitment with myself on Jan.1st this year to follow thru with anything and everything I needed to do for dental health. Today's appointment is for a cleaning and decision about a crown for my most recent root canal. It's very grown up to look at your calendar and if there is an appointment scheduled you get dressed and show up.....without first practicing several lies to get out of it.
Do you ever look at others who are your age and think they are further along in knowing themselves than you are? I've read several books this year by women my age who seem so enlightened and further along the life journey than me. What sucks about this is that you really can't run faster or try harder to catch up. My walk is my walk. My ah-ha moments come when they come. The ability to follow dental appointments seems so diminished in the face of what others my age seem to be able to do without blinking.
Tonight at my meeting, I will be on the look out for women like me. Not my age, but that woman who has lost large pieces of her life thru drug addiction and alcoholism. The one who isn't trying to recapture the lost time, but simply trying to begin where she is. There is no time for the pointless longing of missed opportunities but there is plenty of time to make the present......exquisite.