Friday, December 16, 2011
Nothing but moaning and complaining here
I slept through my alarm yesterday and missed an entire blog-earth rotation because I had to jump in the shower and go. My nerves (?) are shot right now and I am in unfamiliar territory of shot-nerves-land.
In a compact way here it is: Sober daughter goes to shrink appointment Wednesday and cries the entire appointment because her meds her "off". Shrink says she can not change her meds while daughter is hysterical so come back in two weeks. When she returns to her car she realizes she has $8 for the parking but the parking is $15. She does not know that the parking attendant will not hold her hostage so she stands by her car and continues crying. An angel lady walks up and asks her what is wrong and she tells her. The angel lady gave her the money for parking and stood in the parking lot with her and hugged her while she cried. Then SD (sober daughter) has to drive straight to retina specialist but goes to the wrong location and locks her keys in her car. Mind you, I'm on the other end of the cell phone with her through out the day. We get AAA to the car and she makes her eye appointment one hour late but they see her. The eye doctor says she has to have emergency surgery the next day to save her vision. Its a retina buckle surgery (?) done under anesthesia and and overnight stay. SD comes unglued at the rushness of it all, and so do I. Her insurance does not extend to the hospital they want, she does not have a GP to get the blood work and pre op stuff done etc. etc. etc. Finally a very nice woman at the docs office took charge of the logistics and SD calmed down. They will do the surgery either today or Monday. Yesterday was her birthday. Christmas is in a week. They said she has to go home, lay flat in darkness for the first week and no tilting her head forward at all. Really???? Really???? I have finally got this suicidal child to leave the dark room, and now this? I have to figure out a way to be with her during the day to help her. Her husband is useless. And I don't like to be in her house (my mothers house) because she has sat in her bed for so long that the house is filthy. The pipe is broke under the kitchen sink and she and her husband have just piled dishes on the one little counter and in the broke sink for so long that she started stacking them outside in the back yard until now it's not only overwhelming to her but to me as well. Husbands no help. Today she has to go back to the eye doc to sign something and then way across town to another place for per op stuff and she has to come by my office for money for all these co pays and gas and I am taking money from areas of my life that I have no business taking money but good grief what choice do I have? I broke a molar on an almond on Tuesday. I am beside myself with dread about her convalescence and I'm exhausted with the rah rah speeches to help her through this. Now she will miss her pulminologist appointment next week and she is out of all her asthma meds which they will not refill without seeing her and she was on a mother f'n ventilator two f'n weeks ago. Oh, and I got shit going on in my own life too.
Thank you for listening. I will pray my ass off in the shower this morning to stay in this day where God lives.