Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Kind of wallowing

What I know.
  • Some big things are changing at work and I need to accept this and learn to change with it or be left behind.  I have to make a living and for now my living is contingent on doing it their way.
  • I am holding back an amends right now because I truly have not figured out if I owe one or if I am simply following an old beaten path of mine to avoid confrontation by keeping the peace at all costs. 
  • I can no longer afford the co-pay on my daughters many many medications.  I can not afford the result of not paying for them either.
  • I am nostalgic for the days when the news of my own neighborhood was all that was relevant and the world was no bigger than the state of Texas.
  • I am longing for certain people who have died and can not give me counsel.
  • I am overwhelmed and fighting the very process I know will that will ease my spirit.
  • Sometimes I go to God last because I need to wallow in it for awhile.


Mary LA said...

I'm going through the same kind of change with e-publishers, changes I don't like and must accept.

Pam, the world was never no bigger than the state of Texas, you know that. Yikes. But I understand the longing --

Mary Christine said...

Sending a hug to Texas from Colorado xoxoxox

Syd said...

I too understand the longing for those that have left. But I am grateful for those that still remain here.

Lou said...

When I first got to Alanon, I was making amends left and right. It was always about looking at my part..and avoiding confrontation.

I've learned it is NOT always my fault. I'm not on automatic pilot for amends anymore.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

powerless to do anything else :) I know the feeling ... intimately!<3 love you!

patty said...

me too

Marcia said...

Happy Wednesday, Pammie.