Thursday, August 18, 2011
Still Working Through It
Excellent speaker meeting last night! He is a sweet young man with four years clean and sober that I have watched since day one. His newborn baby tested positive for marijuana, the state took her and he had to come to meetings to get his paper signed in order to get her back. He was angry at his wife, himself and the world. Today he has a special calling to work with young parents in similar situations. The change has been awesome to watch. He is a family man today, a good man today, a sober man.
I am still angry at a guy from a meeting on Saturday. I have tried everything I know to do to get "over it." I have begun the last dreaded tool in my arsenal, which is to pray for him. I find it odd that I cannot seem drop it. I have such a wonderful scathing, guilt inflicting, accusatory, manipulative letter written to him in my head. In my practice scenarios (in my head) the speech I give him, leaves him crumbled on the floor with the realization of how wrong he is....good grief. This is something I cannot afford.
On the other hand........this is also one of my problems. Keeping quite. Never saying how I feel when a person says something out of line to me. Walking away and leaving the "appropriate" words unsaid. Making room for the "inappropriate" words to fester. It's a balance that I have not perfected.
I guess I'll hit the shower now.