Sunday, July 17, 2011
I'm so frustrated y'all!
I can not get motivated.
I'm living half-assed.
I painted all day yesterday, nonsensical pages of blues and purples and white acrylic paint. Useless really when you think about it. Painting a wall in the house would be something productive but it would have to be one color with out all the little dots and swirls that I enjoyed doing.
Good grief my life is consumed with guilt for every minute spent NOT doing something that I SHOULD be doing. If I clean the kitchen then I should have been doing the laundry. If I vacuum the carpet then I should have been mopping the tile. If I work in the yard then I should have been cleaning out the car. I am bullying my own self. I am criticizing my actions and monitoring my thoughts like a prison guard.
Maybe I said "kiss my ass" a little too soon.
Today is my home group meeting and I don't want to go.
OK, just venting.
I will work this out.
Tomorrow is a work day...where at least I know what to do.