Thursday, April 7, 2011

Aggravating Love

Last night was my weekly newcomer meeting filled with in-patients who don't really want to be "in" or "patients".  They would rather be "out" and "getting high".  A room full of adults with their feet propped in the chair in front of them, whispering, reading magazines during the meeting, and generally just getting on my nerves.  I have been going to this aggravating meeting for almost 20 years because there is ALWAYS that handful of people desperate for the solution.  I picked up my newcomer chip in that meeting and I never stopped going.  I truly love right off the street dope fiends.....aggravation and all.


dAAve said...

Hi Pammie!!!

Bill said...

Thanks for my birthday greeting! I was so excited when I realized it was from you.
OMG...nobody told me you had resumed blogging. Heads are gonna roll. Of course, I didn't check, either, so I guess I'll have to start with my own head (which will save everyone else's. Yes, four little years of growth in sobriety, and I still have lots of weeding ahead of me.
Have a dandy day, Pammie!

Bill Chase said...

Kudos on you Pammie, that you still attend these meetings, It's truly inspiring and says volumes of your recovery that you still attenb this meeting and are willing to give back to the desperate.
I know for myself when not fully in conscious contact or going through times of forgetting where I came from. I can become very arogant, and self righteos, I allow myself to get upset, that others in the meeting are whispering while a speaker is speaking or (my pet peeeve) they get up and get coffee walking right in front of the speaker stopping and whispering to 2 or 3 while going to fill their coffe cups. Thyat is till I remember my early days, when I didn't really think many of you could teach me anything, maybe one of yous would share how you, hide it so well, because I didn;t truly believe that anybody could be clean and sober for any real length of time, without solitary confinement, you all just had the secret of controlling or hiding it. That and after a few days or weeks clean and sober, I had no idea of how to stay still, restlessness was eating me up, much less the ability to listen to anyone who was not talking about me or how I could manage a good score and/or con. I also remember what I heard in the meetings and from my sponsor, that yes they may not be paying much attention, and they may not be ready yet, However the seed might possibly be planted tonight, the eventually saves their life, or the life of one of their companions.

Syd said...

Good for you Pam. I think that meeting would provide a good dose of humility.