Sunday, May 5, 2013

Small Epiphany



Pleading with God.  When I heard myself this weekend, pleading with God to help me stop smoking, to help me fully accept that I can not smoke anymore, a light bulb went off in my brain. Pleading with God is a form of begging him to come over to my side.  God is already on my side. 

I'm so embarrassed about being powerless over my cigarettes. The people who know I have COPD and continue to smoke, just shake their heads at me.  It creates "screw you" cycle in my head.

Giving this to God instead of pleading with God is the direction I need to take.

You'd think I know this stuff, right?

PS:  My Trumpet plant ready to burst:


7 comments:

Mary Christine said...

It doesn't matter what we know. I wish it did.

I just went though a period where I had to learn about surrender on a whole new level. I thought I had plumbed the depths of surrender, it turns out I didn't. Maybe I still haven't.

Your trumpet plant is gorgeous.

Syd said...

A 12 step program for smokers. I am sure there is one.

Annette said...

It always takes me by surprise when I find myself back in old territory. It happens though. I think God knows we have to flop around for awhile trying it our own way before we can surrender and let Him have control.

Hope said...

Epiphanies are good. Wrestling with an issue means there is movement. I often have got so caught up in the outcome that I've missed the value of the wrestling.
I'm so glad you are posting again. Thanks for the sweet comment you left me the other day.

Mary LA said...

That trumpet plant looks so lush. Please post more pics when it begins to trumpet? Tecoma stans, am I right?

Pam, I know all about pleading like that. Change is so hard.

SoberMomWrites said...

Pammie - I've said this many times, quitting smoking was way harder for me than quitting drinking...and that was freaking HARD! Smoking was something I did just to me and just for me. It was nobody else's business.

But then one day (I wish I could tell you what triggered it or how it happened) I just decided enough was enough. I'd spent enough time worrying about quitting, enough money on things to help me quit, enough money on the damn things themselves...just enough.

You'll get there Pammie. Your head is where mine was. I feel like you've almost had enough.

Good luck. I know you can do this - you will as soon as you figure out that you can.

Sherry

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