Monday, July 16, 2012

Monday Morning

Sober daughter and grandson came over Saturday evening and did not leave until 9:00 last night.  Oh I had so much fun with them!  My neighbors came over last night and we grilled hamburgers and my daughter and I took turns playing guitar while everyone clapped...ahhh....good times.  Theo is completely wiped out and I had to wake him for dinner.  That NEVER happens.

I'm only working 3 days this week so I can spend some more time with my grandson before he returns to Fort Worth.

I went to Galveston Saturday morning for an "Area" meeting in my fellowship.  Lord have mercy, 40 addicts in a room is way too crazy for me right now.  Unfortunately, there are times when sober addicts are not much different than using ones.

A girl in my home group hung herself this week.  She left a 3 year old.  She could not stop using pills.  She was the epitome of powerlessness.  She had 5 months clean one time and I remember how happy she was but her brain never changed.  She remained living with the same brain that told her 5 months earlier that it was OK to take 30 pills with her morning coffee.  When that kind of brain says it's time to use again, then it's time to use again.  We've built an entire movement around the "idea" that an addict is powerless over drugs unless they have a psychic change and then we become confused when the powerless person doesn't manifest some sort of power over their addiction.  It's heart breaking in more ways than one.

Today I will remain vigilant to maintain my spiritual connection with God so that my own addict brain does not become powerless once again.

14 comments:

Mary Christine said...

I'm so sorry about the young woman.

How beautiful to spend time with sober daughter and grandson! I hope these days go slowly!

luluberoo said...

Do you get tired of trying to explain addiction to the non-addicted? It often seems people don't/can't understand until it is too late.

There is a lot of sadness in the world, the best we can do is push back with goodness in our own ways.

Grand kids change us in the purest way possible. So happy for you!

Anonymous said...

I feel that woman's hopelessness deep in my gut. I was 18 months sober when I gave birth to my daughter and I will always remember leaning down and whispering in her ear "You will never see me drunk." Any questions I had about a God at that time vanished because I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that He would be taking care of things. I simply had too much going on to do it all myself.

Anonymous said...

The family get together sounds like good medicine for Pammie!
So sad about the young girl, one of our HG members went home after the anniversary Friday night and got drunk and tried to kill herself. By the grace of God she is in the hospital now. We are praying she has had enough......

bugerlugs63 said...

The further I move away from my addiction . . . the more frightening it is to look at.
That is a very sad story.

Annette said...

I don't understand addiction. I am the first to admit that. Is it a choice to use? Is it a spiritual malady as the big book says? Is it a a disease? Can they ever really stop once addicted? I don't know...Currently, I am liking the spiritual malady deal and I am praying like no other that the Big Spirit comes in and does something miraculous. The one thing I do know is that its not about me saving the day anymore. It never was.
I am so sorry about that young woman. That is so sad.
I love that you got to spend time with your daughter and grandson and playing guitar....that sounds such a great time. Good family times. Love that!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Pam I meant to post the above comment anonymously but I messed up and now I can't delete it...can you?
LK

Anonymous said...

Pam I'm trying this again. (I was able to delete my first comment.)

I so enjoy reading your blog and always look forward to reading your post. I love how you are so aware of how precious time with your loved ones is.
I felt a heavy weight come over me when I read about the young mom from your HG. Our daughter also made that decision in the spring of '08 leaving several loved ones
to cope with life without her. She took a part of our hearts and vitality for living life with her.
Praying she has found peace and trying to find my way back...
LK

Anonymous said...

That is so sad. Glad to hear you are doing good.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

God be with those who loved and cared for the woman, though she was so unaware of the love and support that surrounded her to the end.

God be with each person today who is still struggling and suffering.

I'm so glad you are able to enjoy your family. What a gift.

Syd said...

Pam, it's sad about the woman who killed herself. I wish that there was another way for people. But maybe there isn't. Some people just have lost hope. When that happens, it's hard to move forward. Anyway ,glad that you had a good time with your family. I'd like to hear your guitar picking.

Unknown said...

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Unknown said...

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