Thursday, April 19, 2012

Yeah, it turns on ya!

When I was in my mid to late 20's, I was snorting crystal meth on a daily basis.  Of course it was the 70's so things were a little different too, but I never hid it.  I would go to "straight" peoples houses and ask if they minded if I did some speed.  I TRULY believed that if you weren't doing it then you were somehow an idiot.  What possible reason would you pass on the most perfect drug ever invented?  Better living through chemicals was my mantra.  I always felt that I was my "higher self" on speed. 
You can not argue with that mind set...ya know?  It's like a religious or political belief, you can speak your truth all day long but you can't really convince someone to change their belief. 

Of course drugs have a way of turning on you.....damn that sucks!

I remember clearly one night when I needed a beer so badly to come down and it was the middle of the night so all liquor sales at the convenience stores had stopped.  I walked over a mile to a Stop and Go and when the clerk refused to sale me beer I actually held my finger out in a "gun mimicking shape" and said "I'm serious dude, I need a beer!"  My "finger gun" kind of took us both by surprise and I took off running.

When things start going bad it picks up momentum pretty damn fast.  Really Pammie?  A finger gun?


Lou said...

I want to laugh and cry..then cry and laugh.

I'm lucky to have you, and MC, and Andrew, and a few others who do not bullshit the cold, hard reality of addiction. We are not helping each other when we pretend it "just goes away."

Mary Christine said...

And I say THANK GOD that for us it moved fast. Some people just spend their lives digging lower bottoms.

In my last months of drinking, my husband had to prevent me from taking his shotgun to the utility company to demand my deposit back. I actually said to him, "no jury in the world would convict me." Oh my goodness! I really believed that!

Mary LA said...

A finger gun. I have known that kind of desperation.

dAAve said...

We're the same age and I never even knew about meth back then. I took black mollies though.

Annette said...

I didn't know they had meth back in the 70's. Nothing new under the sun I guess. This post is sad Pam....only because I know in your mind, at that moment, you probably thought that finger gun would really accomplish getting your point across. You needed a beer!

Kary May said...

I remember the late 70's and early 80's when cocaine was the wonder drug, my friends and ex-hubby would snort "crank" and try to tell me it wasn't as bad as cocaine. I never could make myself snort anything up my nose, I was too dignified, I thought. But I didn't mind popping a few speeders and scrubbing my living room carpet at 1:00 am. I sure knew how to have fun.

Marcia said...

you cannot argue with a mindset. That is very true. I don't know why people keep trying.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

OMG that is AWESOME!

Finger gun... classic

You're right, you really cannot argue a person out of it.

Mindset...I still have plenty of that in areas I'm not even aware of sometimes.

:) XOXO have a fab day, and careful with those weapons of yours... polish and prime but never ever point a loaded finger! Cause the kick-back it just lands ya on your A$$


Syd said...

I have done some desperate things not on any drugs. Anger is a powerful thing. And it makes people who want to control others crazy.
I'm glad that life changed for you and for me.

Patty said...

Ugh. Coming down. I remember pacing in my back yard for hours scared out of my mind of I dont know what, but utterly terrified. Thank God we lived through it and are now on the other side of that insanity, one day at a time. Thanks Pam, you made me especially grateful this morning for my life as it is today and what God has done for me.

April said...

HAHA I laughed out loud when I read the end of this post. Oh the things that we think are "smart" when we are using/drinking. Thank God that we don't live like that anymore :)

قمم التميز said...

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قمم تميز said...

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قمم تميز said...

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شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض بالجبيل

قمم تميز said...

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شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض
المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض
المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات
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شركة مكافحة الحمام بالخبر
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شركة مكافحة الحمام بالقطيف
شركة ترميم فلل منازل بالدمام
شركة ترميم منازل فلل بالخبر