Wednesday, April 4, 2012


I am just past knowing what to do with a sponsee who wants to say constantly that she wants to drink herself to death.  Sponsee drama rattles me more than it used to and I just can't jump in my car and talk someone off a ledge like I used to.  It's like my energy level is just different.

Sometimes, a real healthy, eating right, swimming laps, running marathons type of person gets a brain tumor because life is just like that and people are surprised.  I feel bad because it doesn't surprise me.

Sometimes, people take such good care of themselves and get everything fixed when it breaks that there is nothing left to kill them but old age.  Old age is an awful way to die.....all that waiting and dragging so many people through years of care giving.

Well all-righty then.  My mind is wondering through some kind of strange wasteland.


Mary Christine said...

I find that I am incapable of sponsoring a person like that. My response would be "as you wish." Someone who needs to hop in their car and save the world needs to be assigned to this case, not me. I am good at sponsoring people with over 10 years of sobriety. My sponsor says it's OK - that this is also an important role.

And it kills me that people want everything to make sense. It just doesn't. Everyone is going to die - some sooner than others. I say make the most of whatever you get.

Syd said...

Some people just live too long. I am hoping to go out the way my father did--a nap and then gone.

Lou said...

People who live as healthy as possible tend not to "linger" those last 6 months of life. They just keel over one day, or they don't wake up. That to me is the difference between dying and dying in the intensive care unit hooked up to machines. I guess because I see this so vividly every prolonged, but painful, devoid of meaning, at the mercy of others to wipe your's my greatest fear.

Of course, we can all get a brain tumor tomorrow. That one is out of my hands. I hope I could accept it with dignity and make best use of any time left, as I see many people do. Years in a hospital, seeing both birth and death, have taught me that what's in between is all that matters.

I understand the energy part.

Annette said...

Well coming from one who makes her living off those who linger...
But yeah, I want to go in my sleep without ever needing another human being to wipe my butt other than myself.
Pam I've been worrying (not obsessively though) about you because I heard there were tornados in TX. You are ok though? I'm glad to see you sharing your thoughts this morning. : )

Mary LA said...

I'm also hoping you and Dave are safe in Texas.

Pam, I still lie awake sweating blood over people who have relapsed and want to drink themselves to death because it does happen.

So many curved balls in life and no way to control most of them.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I love you Pammie! and I love Mary Christine! I have low tolerance for people who continue to profess that they are obsessing and craving and don't know what to do and yet won't take the real direction ... To someone who continually said I want to drink myself to death I'd be the one who says here's a 20 be my guest. It's kinder than trying to teeth gritted, fingers bleeding, drag them back up... dead weight that just hangs there saying I want to die, well it's hard to watch but really... what can you do with dead weight? Of course I sound like an unsympathetic biatch.

I had this speaker tape once ... a guy who said when he was done drinkin' he had nothing left... really nothing except a single hummel figurine ... a stolen milk crate with one hummel figurine sitting on top of it was the only thing in the disgusting dirty hovel of a room in the abandoned building he was occupying. He obsessed and worried over that little porcelain statue something fierce. The sponsor, realizing what it was, smashed the figurine to bits and said "There. Now you don't have shit to worry about" the dude on the speaker cd was of course telling this story years later having been with that sponsor for a long time.

Another story I remember was a guy who called a man from AA saying I'm going to kill myself if you don't help me, the "sponsor" said, I'm busy today but call back Tomorrow morning and I can help. The guy... of course called back the next day, and the rest is AA speaker tape history.

We love to make productions ... just love to set dramatic stages for our escapades.

It's no fun when people stop playing the audience for our drama, then it's just us and God getting serious about who really runs the show.

I know you and God have some awesome stuff to do ... with or without this woman who seems to want to drink herself to death. Your intuition is Gods intuition! :)

قمم تميز said...

شركة المثالية للتنظيف
شركة المثالية للتنظيف بالدمام
شركة المثالية للتنظيف بالخبر
المثالية للتنظيف
شركة المثالية للتنظيف بالجبيل
شركة المثالية للتنظيف بالقطيف
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الفلل بالدمام
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الفلل بالخبر
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الفلل بالجبيل
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الفلل بالقطيف

قمم تميز said...

المثالية لتنظيف الفلل
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الشقق بالدمام
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الشقق بالخبر
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الشقق بالجبيل
شركة المثالية لتنظيف الشقق بالقطيف
شركة المثالية لتنظيف المنازل بالدمام
شركة المثالية لتنظيف المنازل بالخبر
شركة المثالية لتنظيف المنازل بالجبيل
شركة المثالية لتنظيف المنازل بالقطيف
المثالية لتنظيف المنازل
رقم المثالية للتنظيف

قمم تميز said...

رقم المثالية لتنظيف المنازل
شركة المثالية للنظافة
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالدمام
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالخبر
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالجبيل
شركة المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات بالقطيف
شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض بالدمام
شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض بالخبر
شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض بالجبيل

قمم تميز said...

شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض بالقطيف
شركة المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض
المثالية لمكافحة النمل الابيض
المثالية لمكافحة الحشرات
شركة مكافحة الحمام بالدمام
شركة مكافحة الحمام بالخبر
شركة مكافحة الحمام بالجبيل
شركة مكافحة الحمام بالقطيف
شركة ترميم فلل منازل بالدمام
شركة ترميم منازل فلل بالخبر