I spent 2 hours talking my sober daughter off the ledge last night. The ledge was her bed but she's been in it for days. Nine months of doctors experimenting with different drugs trying to stabilize her has been a nightmare. I did the strong Mama stuff with her and talked, encouraged, scolded, bathed her, made her soup, and then left her with her husband to contend with her. She has an appointment with her psych team this morning but personally I hold no hope at this point for any med change help. It was determined that one of her psych meds is what caused the breathing incident that had her on a ventilator last month. She has also gone from 104lbs to 160lbs. She will be 30 years old next week. Merciful God in Heaven can't this precious child catch a break???????? When I drove off from her house I had to pull off the road to cry. It's the "only a mother understands" type of crying when you see your child in pain and have no power to make them well. I want her husband to love her like I do, but I know that's not possible, I know it's not his fault that he has grown so weary of her illness. Crap.......can't write anymore on this topic....tears welling.
OK...the world will still go forward today as if my daughter is not the center of it and so I must go forward with it. This day will hold lots of good stuff and my job is to be open to it.