Thursday, June 23, 2011

Suffola

I went out for a late night supper after my home group meeting last night.  I should do this more often because I laughed so hard at some old gossip that I had never heard before.  It was a group of 10 and I found out who had been dating each other and who had gone back out and just the stuff that groups in their first year of sobriety talk about after a meeting.  I wrote about a guy a few months back that I actually had a hollering match with outside of a meeting and I found that not only had he been banned from the facility but that he came back a month later in full disguise.  He had a fake beard and padded clothes and claimed to be a newcomer.  I felt so validated that I wasn't just making up his craziness.

We had a guy last night who picked up a "new" new comer chip and his mother walked up with him.  This guy is maybe 22 or 23 years old.  After the meeting he was sitting on her lap.  I can't make this up people.  He had been out of the facility we were at for only a week and had relapsed.  His mother had no idea how full of shit this kid is.  She came up to me in the parking lot and said "if you people don't treat my son right I will contact my attorney."  I was about to let loose an extremely self righteous speech when I saw behind her smugness the desperation of a mother.  The plain and simple "oh god please, I'm trusting you with my boy and I don't know how to fight this anymore" look.  She walked off before I could say anything but I stood there and prayed her all the way to her car because it's all I know to do sometimes.

Hey....I'm kind of chatty this morning.  Let's get on with the business of the day shall we?  Peace out.

10 comments:

Lou said...

Give that mom another year, and she will get it. Give the kid another couple years, and maybe he will get it too. Certainly he will do some damage before that happens.

I began to believe Andrew was serious when he stopped making a big show of his chips, waving them in my face as "proof". Now he picks them up for him, and I don't even hear about it.

Mary Christine said...

Oh God help us all. And I admire you for having the most loving response. Sometimes it is hard.

Anonymous said...

I thank God i never did that with my son but I did plenty of other insane things. It gives me so much strength when you say you prayed her all the way to her car. I can do that too. The parents of addicts are a crazy bunch, i know because I'm in that bunch. The 12 steps are as important to us and they are to the addict.

xo

dAAve said...

We better send MOM over to Syd's house. LOL

ScottF said...

What a loving way to respond Pam :-) I can relate to your temptation to "set her aright." Your wisdom in the fellowship serves you well.

It's sad to see the wreckage of our disease...

Sober Julie said...

Sometimes praying is all we can do.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

LOL Yup Syd could prolly be of great service to mom. How awesome that you found that moment of clarity and saw her soul.

:) God is good!

Syd said...

Pam, glad that you saw her fear. I see it and feel a lot of compassion. Desperation drives us to do some crazy ass things. And makes us crazy right alongside the alcoholic/addict. Send her on over. I will take her to an Al-Anon meeting.

Kristin H. said...

Thank gOd I'm 5 Minute After gal. That's normally how long it takes me to think up the pithy comeback. Typically, by that time, they've walked off.

That whole sitting-on-the-lap thing is kind of creepy.

louisey said...

That fake beard puts a whole new spin on the saying 'keep coming back'.