Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Kind of Funk
There are some things I am so used to, that I forget to appreciate them. This includes people too. When this dawns on me, it hurts my heart.
I awoke this morning with a tug of impending doom. This happens to me sometimes and I do not know why. It's like I become hyper aware of things that I've been putting off and ALL of these things must be examined immediately. Knowing I can not address everything in one day puts me in a state of momentary panic and becomes the motivator for "making a list." Today, I don't want to make a list because I don't want to see it all written down like a laundry list of my inability to handle my business properly.
Today I need to live, wallow around in, absorb and digest the 11th step in order to get to the "power to carry that out" part.
Life just feels heavy at times but I know intellectually it is no heavier than yesterday. I must choose my attitude even when.....like today....I childishly "don't wanna do it."