Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Kind of Funk

There are some things I am so used to, that I forget to appreciate them.  This includes people too.  When this dawns on me, it hurts my heart.

I awoke this morning with a tug of impending doom.  This happens to me sometimes and I do not know why.  It's like I become hyper aware of things that I've been putting off and ALL of these things must be examined immediately.  Knowing I can not address everything in one day puts me in a state of momentary panic and becomes the motivator for "making a list."  Today, I don't want to make a list because I don't want to see it all written down like a laundry list of my inability to handle my business properly. 

Today I need to live, wallow around in, absorb and digest the 11th step in order to get to the "power to carry that out" part.

Life just feels heavy at times but I know intellectually it is no heavier than yesterday.  I must choose my attitude even when.....like today....I childishly "don't wanna do it."


Syd said...

I occasionally have those feelings too. I am not living in steps two and three and am trying to figure things out on my own. I forget that I can't force things to happen. When I get the attitude adjustment of those steps, I am okay again.

dAAve said...

Just do a load of whites and call it a day.

Tabitha said...

You have got a good head on your shoulders Pammie.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Oh boy do I know this feeling. (((HUGS)))
I want it all to get better now, and to have it all done now, and to be perfect now.


So today I will meditate, pray and just finish one project at a time in hopes that the distraction of actually doing something on my list, just one thing will lead me to accomplishment of something which leads to the next thing to do. :) Maybe.