Although I have never relapsed since coming into our beautiful program (thank you God) I have firm "opinions" on the word relapse and peoples use of it. Why? Because I'm so damn opinionated I guess.
Can't we just please save one "word" one "term" one "definition" for the poor soul who has worked the steps and found a connection to the "Power of the Universe" who then fell prey once again (for whatever reasons) to the spiritual malady which lead to that person to becoming powerless once again?
When an alcoholic or addict who has worked the steps becomes powerless again, un-hooked if you will from their higher power they will again suffer the spiritual malady and powerless people "use" again because they are powerless not to. People who can stop and start at will are not powerless and probably don't need a twelve step program. Can't we reserve the word "relapse" for those who have worked this deal?
To me, if a person is right out of treatment or just a newcomer to the program and they say (and others affirm) that they have relapsed....it makes me crazy. Call it what it is please....stopping and starting. Most of us spent years stopping and starting and that is not a relapse.
3 comments:
Amen. I hate when people say, "I relapsed again". I would love to say, "Really, the word relapse implies that you have been sober for more than 24 hours!" The word is abused and you are so right. I myself have not relapsed since coming into the program (thank you God) but I too stopped and started for years. You want a relaps? Be like my friend N and be sober for 7 years and then for whatever reason triggers it start drinking again. That's a relaps! Thank you for this honest write!
I was provided a 12 step experience before I ever entered the rooms, so I've been blessed to have an understanding of "THE dis-ease and THE program" before I ever came in. I believe that, combined with God's full on grace have provided me the sobriety I have, no need for further testing.
I have lots of irritation at people who use AAs door as a revolving door without ever knowing what true membership in AA or the actual action of the 12-steps truly is. I guess it's why I keep sitting my ass down at meetings and keep being a vocal proponent of the Big Book (sometimes well and sometimes not but always consistently back to the book and the direction there) God willing it will continue for years to come.
To relapse you must first know in your heart that you wanted not to go back to using that elixer that's killing ya. Truth is, I have no idea how many who pick up chip after chip after chip actually do want to stop, I just know they don't want to stop THIS way... yet; or that they've never been face to face with someone whose message has carried depth and weight to them.
I guess that's why "just don't drink and go to meetings" pisses me off so much. Cause for me it was and is way more personal than that. Its about that one on one face to face contact that I cannot postpone, evade or deny because I'm that desperate NOT to have what I believe I have any more.
<3 you!!! :)
There are many who really have not gotten the spiritual solution. I am sorry because it sure is awful to watch someone keep killing themselves.
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