Thursday, July 26, 2012

It's Thursday right?

My husband never measures his words in private or public. He says what he believes and lets the chips fall where they may.  This character trait in him, causes me outrage and admiration. When I speak without measuring first, I usually regret it.  He does not comprehend regret over speaking your beliefs.  He truly does not care what people think of him.

I am restless.  I walked 2 miles last night and feel wiped out this morning.  There are huge events going on in the lives of my three adult children. I discovered on my walk last night, that I feel guilty if I'm not fretting about each of them.  To fret over all of them at the same time is just too much emotional hand wringing for me.  I believe that each of them are expecting (hoping) for me to show up in a certain way for them.  I want to, I pray that I will be able to, but damn I feel kind of wore out.  This really is when "living in the day" pays off.  It makes life more manageable. 

Today I will hand over my children to God and do the next right thing as the day and week progresses.  I know how to do this because of a lot of people just like you reading this right now.  We are so very blessed to have a program for living.

7 comments:

Mary Christine said...

We are blessed indeed. I am trying to keep from worrying about my sober daughter - she is less than a week from becoming homeless and has no idea what she is going to do. I cannot bail her out. And this time I cannot tell her she can live here - not with her bulldog anyway.

Mary LA said...

A lot of walking, Pam.

I know a man who is just like your husband and I admire him when I am not ready to kill him. He has offended everyone I know. He doesn't notice 'offended'.

Syd said...

I believe in speaking my truth but also know that to live among others I must be aware of restraint of tongue and pen. Being open and honest rather than being liked seems more important to me now.

luluberoo said...

Pammie you are strong inside. I have felt it in your posts for years. When a person is strong, others look to them for guidance (i.e., our children). That's the way it is. Knowing how much you want to give-or how much is advisable to give-is the hard part.

(hugs)

dAAve said...

I wuz here.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

:) My husband is like that too. Hell I am as well but I always feel it keenly afterward. I find that my irritation is that I feel it and he doesn't (self-centered to the core).

I'm stopping to pray for both your kids and MC's kids today. It seems there are many many people having difficulty in health, relations and finance.

Marcia said...

It's Friday in this part of the country. :) I'm watching a little of the Olympic's and fretting about my kids even though I can't figure out why... I'm with you, I'm turning them over to God. If he tells me what to do, I will do it.